Gorden Benit!

I am Matt (the hat) resident Joker and all round chatty-type genius. I greet you today in the name of the used crisp packet!

Once more I have something big to say and I will do it by being funny.


"My left one is still small but the right one is this big!"

In a deft move Gorden Brown attempts to take the heat off of his recent errors by competing with Tony Blair on genital size.

However this Freudian slip is revealed as God himself points out that the £7bn "black hole" refers not so much to the trifling matter of the over-spend in public finances this year and the tiny tax hike required to fill it but to Gorden's own rear end and the cost of corrective surgery once the so called "back bencher's" have finished with him after the conference.

Analysts concede that Gorden could actually be talking about the size of his backside after voters show him what they really think of his new stealth taxes.

Not to worry, for I give you the power of [SPANKING] now go forth and change the [UN-TANNED BACKSIDES] in the name of the pink grapefruit.